Post by Rojo on Nov 14, 2008 15:59:28 GMT -5
My writing from me! I was bored, and wondered what it would be like if Rojo started wondering who created him...then it spiralled into a sort of refrences/crossover thing, and I know you won't get most of them, but whatever. Who gives a flying kobold?
___
Oh My Author[/u]
A cold wind plays across the Gali Desert. Let us take a look at the city of Timetall, a merchant city that never sleeps. It is the dead of night, but still a few people mill about, making their ways to their homes, all-night shops, local brothels and brack-houses (brack is the only alcoholic beverage that can be brewed from ingredients found in the Gali Desert. It is a small form of cactus that excretes poison when moved too quickly, but it also produces a syrupy liquid that when mixed with small amounts of ethanol tastes…well, bloody awful.)
Now, let us take a look at one man walking down the streets, merrily whistling a tune at eyes lurking in the shadows of alleys and windows. His name is Rojo Rodriguez. His full name is Rojo Gali Alejandro Carlos Rodriguez, but only three people call him this regularly, mainly because it’s a bit mouthy. But we’re not here to discuss his name; we’re here to discuss his thoughts. Presently his thoughts are on the subject of god—not the gods everyone know about like Faii, Svegna and Broe, but a supreme god who rules the entire world, and the stars in the sky-- A supreme god who created this world; who made everyone- including himself.
Now, just as Rojo Gali Alejandro Carlos Rodriguez was thinking whether or not to test this theory, a small rock fell out of the sky and hit him very sharply on the head. Normally he would have dodged this almost reflexively, but his senses seemed…lulled around the time it had hit.
Rubbing his head and muttering about recent dwarf excavations under The Ghavner Building (…let’s just say it’s like every mansion in every adventure story ever, complete with underground chambers and shuffling old butlers who glare at intruding children) he looks at the rock. There appears to be a note tied to it.
Rojo picks it up and takes the note out of the shabbily done knot, shaking his head disapprovingly at the bad knot and opens it:
Don’t test me
Then another rock falls out of the sky and stubs his toe badly. Frowning and grumbling even more, the man picks up the little rock and takes the piece of paper tied to this one too (with some difficulty because the knot has been done very tight). It reads:
I’m not good at knots, so sue me
Two thoughts popped into Rojo’s head at the same time. The first was what the word ‘sue’ meant, and the second was what the first letter had meant. Then his brain clicked (with the help of a certain imaginary individual in green robes and a handful of green maggoty things, but that’s another story for another time).
Could this be a message from the supreme god, telling him, a lowly mortal, not to mess with cosmic powers he could not comprehend? A solemn look came over his face. Then he made a face, gave the sky The Finger and continued along his way. The Supreme God could go eat his own anus as far as telling Rojo not to mess with the laws of the world went. If there were rules, the chances are Rojo would break them at some point, now, how to go about breaking the laws of physics…?
Rojo Gali Alejandro Carlos Rodriguez grinned. He was at the top of a cliff, and was standing next to a short and very nervous-looking person.
“You do remember what happened the last time we did this, Mr Rodriguez?”
“That I do…”
“Then do you have any idea of what this could do on a global scale?”
“That I do…”
Pigmoore Ditton sighed. He had been dragged from his bed at 2’o’clock in the morning by a disgruntled Dean and had then been taken to the most magical (literally) place on the planet. There he had been told to perform the EAUC Experiment (Experimental Alternate Universe Contact) again, but this time with a lot more power. The last time this had happened, the subject (Rojo) had been transported to another universe, and events had transpired which he had told few of. How he returned is the biggest secret of all.
Pigmoore looked behind him at the ruins of an ancient castle. Castle Farenox, the crack in the world wherein magic seeps through and gives the people of Yorl their magical power. There was an enormous summoning circle drawn around the entire castle. The chalk alone had deprived schools all over the continent. But it was worth it. Rojo had pulled strings and polished buttons and scratched backs (the last one literally, but that is another story that neither of us wish to tell) and he had done it…and all to screw with god.
“Don’t you need other wizards to do this?” he asked absently, staring at the sky for fear of more rocks.
“Well, normally yes, but since the site is so magically alive I don’t need any…” Pigmoore explained. After a few seconds silence, Rojo spoke again.
“Well? Aren’t you going to get on with it?”
Pigmoore gulped and turned to the remains of the castle. Then he lifted his arms, palms outstretched at the ruins. His hands started to glow a sort of bright yellow, and a small wind played with his robes and Rojo’s hair.
Rojo himself was currently being pelted with rocks from the sky, each bearing little notes, probably containing hateful messages and warnings.
Now the young wizard’s eyes were glowing too, showing signs of a very powerful spell. The wind was stronger now, making his robes flap wildly and his sleeves blow up to his elbows. Rojo looked in wonder as a colossal rip opened up above the castle. Inside the rip was a great city, with figures walking around in fancy clothing, one in a blue and purple nobleman’s clothes, a red feather bobbing about in his purple hat. He stopped, and looked up at the rip that had suddenly opened in the sky. Others had stopped too, and were staring at the sky in wonder.
***
Devon Van Shire sighed.
“Somehow I know this has something to do with Rojo…”
The noble stands, his eyes on the sky, and waits…
***
The adventurer on the other side watched in awe as the rip opened some more, flickering and showing a different scene. Now it shows a mansion standing almost defiantly on a cold night. Rojo squints to try and see inside, but to no avail.
***
Malevolos Firestorm stared at the widening rip in the sky. He could see quite easily two men standing on a cliff, one emitting dangerously high levels of magic, and the other not giving any life signs…how peculiar. He gave a dark smirk. This may prove of some interest. He waits…
***
Pigmoore was now straining to stop himself being blown away by the magic. He wanted to stop and cry out to Rojo, but he couldn’t stop. The Magic was in control.
Rojo cocked his head in half-horror half-wonder as the rip widened and showed yet another scene; a strange red building made of…metal?
***
Phillip J. Fry was pleasantly enjoying a diet slurm when he noticed the rip in the sky. He stood up suddenly, rushing to the window to stare up at it.
“Hey, Professor, you’d better come see this, I think we screwed up the space time continuum by accident again!”
After a while, a wrinkled old man came shuffling in wearing thick glasses, a white lab coat and slippers.
“What? Can’t you see I’m trying to cross-breed apes and lions?” Then the professor gasps as he sees the enormous rip in the sky. He shuffles at his fastest pace (about a few centimetres faster than a snail, give or take) and arrives next to Fry, who has gone back to enjoying his soft drink.
“Oh my…oh my oh my…” mutters the Professor, adjusting his glasses.
“What is it?” Fry asks, taking a sip of his drink. The Professor gives him a withering look.
“It seems like some idiot from another universe is trying to mess with god again. Haven’t they disproved god in their universe yet?” He starts to shamble away, shaking his head “in my day if you worshiped a god you were laughed at for being crazy!”
“Uhh….shouldn’t we do something about it?”
“Oh, no, no…it’ll be over by lunch probably…”
And so, they wait…
***
Rojo isn’t bothering with Pigmoore anymore, as now the rip has widened so much now it’s wider than the cliff itself. But the picture has changed again…an enormous turning ring in space, floating peacefully…
***
“That’s the last of them…” the armoured man says, nudging a dead alien with his foot. He starts to walk away, holding his pistol with caution, when a female voice speaks from within his helmet.
“Hey Chief- Look.”
At Cortana’s word, Master Chief looks up as the rip in the sky. He can’t see what is on the other side, but it looks ominous…
“What is it?” He queries in his dull-set tones.
“I don’t know…but it doesn’t look good…”
“As long as the Convenant aren’t on the other side of it, I’m not bothered.”
He waits…
***
Now the rip is enormous, taking up almost the entire sky now. The wind is almost blowing the two off the cliff, but they steady themselves. The picture has changed…now it shows a rather boring blue and green world, slowly revolving, white clouds swirling in patterns above it. The sky has started throwing rather large rocks at Rojo now…flaming rocks.
***
All over the world, people are staring in silence at the strange hole in the sky that has appeared. On a dingy little continent too small to be noticed by the larger ones, on the southern edge of this gritty, wet piece of land, a boy looks out of his window and stares at the inter-dimensional rip. He tries to speak, but all he can manage is: “Bugger.”
Earth waits.
***
All the people in all the universes come to a standstill. Except for a small dwarf who is taking a leak on a boulder which is quite unfortunately actually a troll sleeping. But even he, Gold Goldysen is staring at the huge hole, one hand over his brow, the other clamped tightly around his dwarfhood.
***
Then the universe stops. Time freezes, and everything pops out of existence. Rojo finds himself in a white space, with no one else except a rather peeved-looking boy glaring at him over the top of his glasses.
“You had to do it, didn’t you? You had to screw with god. Like it says a few paragraphs up ‘If there were rules, the chances are Rojo would break them’—but you didn’t have to, did you? I sent you messages, but noooo, you had to go ahead and implode existence. Why did I make you so bloody…bloody…rebellious!”
And with that, the boy stomps away, leaving a rather muddled Rojo staring after him, wondering what the hell just happened.
___
Oh My Author[/u]
A cold wind plays across the Gali Desert. Let us take a look at the city of Timetall, a merchant city that never sleeps. It is the dead of night, but still a few people mill about, making their ways to their homes, all-night shops, local brothels and brack-houses (brack is the only alcoholic beverage that can be brewed from ingredients found in the Gali Desert. It is a small form of cactus that excretes poison when moved too quickly, but it also produces a syrupy liquid that when mixed with small amounts of ethanol tastes…well, bloody awful.)
Now, let us take a look at one man walking down the streets, merrily whistling a tune at eyes lurking in the shadows of alleys and windows. His name is Rojo Rodriguez. His full name is Rojo Gali Alejandro Carlos Rodriguez, but only three people call him this regularly, mainly because it’s a bit mouthy. But we’re not here to discuss his name; we’re here to discuss his thoughts. Presently his thoughts are on the subject of god—not the gods everyone know about like Faii, Svegna and Broe, but a supreme god who rules the entire world, and the stars in the sky-- A supreme god who created this world; who made everyone- including himself.
Now, just as Rojo Gali Alejandro Carlos Rodriguez was thinking whether or not to test this theory, a small rock fell out of the sky and hit him very sharply on the head. Normally he would have dodged this almost reflexively, but his senses seemed…lulled around the time it had hit.
Rubbing his head and muttering about recent dwarf excavations under The Ghavner Building (…let’s just say it’s like every mansion in every adventure story ever, complete with underground chambers and shuffling old butlers who glare at intruding children) he looks at the rock. There appears to be a note tied to it.
Rojo picks it up and takes the note out of the shabbily done knot, shaking his head disapprovingly at the bad knot and opens it:
Don’t test me
Then another rock falls out of the sky and stubs his toe badly. Frowning and grumbling even more, the man picks up the little rock and takes the piece of paper tied to this one too (with some difficulty because the knot has been done very tight). It reads:
I’m not good at knots, so sue me
Two thoughts popped into Rojo’s head at the same time. The first was what the word ‘sue’ meant, and the second was what the first letter had meant. Then his brain clicked (with the help of a certain imaginary individual in green robes and a handful of green maggoty things, but that’s another story for another time).
Could this be a message from the supreme god, telling him, a lowly mortal, not to mess with cosmic powers he could not comprehend? A solemn look came over his face. Then he made a face, gave the sky The Finger and continued along his way. The Supreme God could go eat his own anus as far as telling Rojo not to mess with the laws of the world went. If there were rules, the chances are Rojo would break them at some point, now, how to go about breaking the laws of physics…?
Rojo Gali Alejandro Carlos Rodriguez grinned. He was at the top of a cliff, and was standing next to a short and very nervous-looking person.
“You do remember what happened the last time we did this, Mr Rodriguez?”
“That I do…”
“Then do you have any idea of what this could do on a global scale?”
“That I do…”
Pigmoore Ditton sighed. He had been dragged from his bed at 2’o’clock in the morning by a disgruntled Dean and had then been taken to the most magical (literally) place on the planet. There he had been told to perform the EAUC Experiment (Experimental Alternate Universe Contact) again, but this time with a lot more power. The last time this had happened, the subject (Rojo) had been transported to another universe, and events had transpired which he had told few of. How he returned is the biggest secret of all.
Pigmoore looked behind him at the ruins of an ancient castle. Castle Farenox, the crack in the world wherein magic seeps through and gives the people of Yorl their magical power. There was an enormous summoning circle drawn around the entire castle. The chalk alone had deprived schools all over the continent. But it was worth it. Rojo had pulled strings and polished buttons and scratched backs (the last one literally, but that is another story that neither of us wish to tell) and he had done it…and all to screw with god.
“Don’t you need other wizards to do this?” he asked absently, staring at the sky for fear of more rocks.
“Well, normally yes, but since the site is so magically alive I don’t need any…” Pigmoore explained. After a few seconds silence, Rojo spoke again.
“Well? Aren’t you going to get on with it?”
Pigmoore gulped and turned to the remains of the castle. Then he lifted his arms, palms outstretched at the ruins. His hands started to glow a sort of bright yellow, and a small wind played with his robes and Rojo’s hair.
Rojo himself was currently being pelted with rocks from the sky, each bearing little notes, probably containing hateful messages and warnings.
Now the young wizard’s eyes were glowing too, showing signs of a very powerful spell. The wind was stronger now, making his robes flap wildly and his sleeves blow up to his elbows. Rojo looked in wonder as a colossal rip opened up above the castle. Inside the rip was a great city, with figures walking around in fancy clothing, one in a blue and purple nobleman’s clothes, a red feather bobbing about in his purple hat. He stopped, and looked up at the rip that had suddenly opened in the sky. Others had stopped too, and were staring at the sky in wonder.
***
Devon Van Shire sighed.
“Somehow I know this has something to do with Rojo…”
The noble stands, his eyes on the sky, and waits…
***
The adventurer on the other side watched in awe as the rip opened some more, flickering and showing a different scene. Now it shows a mansion standing almost defiantly on a cold night. Rojo squints to try and see inside, but to no avail.
***
Malevolos Firestorm stared at the widening rip in the sky. He could see quite easily two men standing on a cliff, one emitting dangerously high levels of magic, and the other not giving any life signs…how peculiar. He gave a dark smirk. This may prove of some interest. He waits…
***
Pigmoore was now straining to stop himself being blown away by the magic. He wanted to stop and cry out to Rojo, but he couldn’t stop. The Magic was in control.
Rojo cocked his head in half-horror half-wonder as the rip widened and showed yet another scene; a strange red building made of…metal?
***
Phillip J. Fry was pleasantly enjoying a diet slurm when he noticed the rip in the sky. He stood up suddenly, rushing to the window to stare up at it.
“Hey, Professor, you’d better come see this, I think we screwed up the space time continuum by accident again!”
After a while, a wrinkled old man came shuffling in wearing thick glasses, a white lab coat and slippers.
“What? Can’t you see I’m trying to cross-breed apes and lions?” Then the professor gasps as he sees the enormous rip in the sky. He shuffles at his fastest pace (about a few centimetres faster than a snail, give or take) and arrives next to Fry, who has gone back to enjoying his soft drink.
“Oh my…oh my oh my…” mutters the Professor, adjusting his glasses.
“What is it?” Fry asks, taking a sip of his drink. The Professor gives him a withering look.
“It seems like some idiot from another universe is trying to mess with god again. Haven’t they disproved god in their universe yet?” He starts to shamble away, shaking his head “in my day if you worshiped a god you were laughed at for being crazy!”
“Uhh….shouldn’t we do something about it?”
“Oh, no, no…it’ll be over by lunch probably…”
And so, they wait…
***
Rojo isn’t bothering with Pigmoore anymore, as now the rip has widened so much now it’s wider than the cliff itself. But the picture has changed again…an enormous turning ring in space, floating peacefully…
***
“That’s the last of them…” the armoured man says, nudging a dead alien with his foot. He starts to walk away, holding his pistol with caution, when a female voice speaks from within his helmet.
“Hey Chief- Look.”
At Cortana’s word, Master Chief looks up as the rip in the sky. He can’t see what is on the other side, but it looks ominous…
“What is it?” He queries in his dull-set tones.
“I don’t know…but it doesn’t look good…”
“As long as the Convenant aren’t on the other side of it, I’m not bothered.”
He waits…
***
Now the rip is enormous, taking up almost the entire sky now. The wind is almost blowing the two off the cliff, but they steady themselves. The picture has changed…now it shows a rather boring blue and green world, slowly revolving, white clouds swirling in patterns above it. The sky has started throwing rather large rocks at Rojo now…flaming rocks.
***
All over the world, people are staring in silence at the strange hole in the sky that has appeared. On a dingy little continent too small to be noticed by the larger ones, on the southern edge of this gritty, wet piece of land, a boy looks out of his window and stares at the inter-dimensional rip. He tries to speak, but all he can manage is: “Bugger.”
Earth waits.
***
All the people in all the universes come to a standstill. Except for a small dwarf who is taking a leak on a boulder which is quite unfortunately actually a troll sleeping. But even he, Gold Goldysen is staring at the huge hole, one hand over his brow, the other clamped tightly around his dwarfhood.
***
Then the universe stops. Time freezes, and everything pops out of existence. Rojo finds himself in a white space, with no one else except a rather peeved-looking boy glaring at him over the top of his glasses.
“You had to do it, didn’t you? You had to screw with god. Like it says a few paragraphs up ‘If there were rules, the chances are Rojo would break them’—but you didn’t have to, did you? I sent you messages, but noooo, you had to go ahead and implode existence. Why did I make you so bloody…bloody…rebellious!”
And with that, the boy stomps away, leaving a rather muddled Rojo staring after him, wondering what the hell just happened.
