Post by TheDPgroup on May 23, 2006 17:27:31 GMT -5
(Chapter One: Purple Smoke and Blue Squirrels)
A/N: Well, I liked my other stories, but they were all too serious, so I decided to try out some humor! Yay! Anyway, if this idea has been used before, please let me know. I hate to feel like I’m copying. Also, I’d like to ask one thing. I haven’t seen many episodes of Yu-Yu Hakusho, but in a lot of the fics I’ve read, they sometimes mention a tournament during which you first see Kurama’s Youko form. Does this take place in the movie, or is it in the series? If it is in the series, around which episodes does the tournament take place? Thanks, and if someone could please answer that for me, it would be very helpful. Anyway, I’ve talked long enough. On with the story.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu Yu Hakusho. I don’t own Herbal Essence, the Thong Song, or Xena. Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense later.
Kurama sat at his desk, a large book opened in front of him, labeled “The Growth and Maintenance of Rare Makai Plants”. He had spent the past few weeks trying to find some plants that he could use to make a hybrid that would be efficient at healing. More precisely, at healing burn wounds, due to a certain short pyromaniac of a demon that he like to call Hiei.
Kurama was pretty sure he’d finally found what he wanted, and he set to work. It wasn’t long before he’d grown a very odd looking plant. He had it in a small pot sitting on his desk. The plant had a long, thin stem that extended up about a foot. At the end of the stem was what looked sort of like a Venus Fly Trap, only it was bright purple.
Kurama sat back in his chair, admiring his handy work. Now all he had to do was test it, and with Hiei around, he was sure he wouldn’t have to wait long. Where was the little demon, anyway?
Kurama was about to get up and look out his window when something strange happened. As he watched, the sort of mouth of the plant opened with a hiss. Kurama leaned forward to get a better look, and suddenly a stream of purple smoke began to pour from the plant.
Kurama was so surprised, he actually fell backwards, out of his chair. He landed on his butt on the floor. He stood up slowly, then stared at the plant in confusion. It was still spurting that purple smoke, and the stuff smelled foul. Kurama wrinkled his nose. The stuff was filling his entire room.
He was about to go open a window when he began to feel strange. He had this strange sickeningly happy feeling bubbling up in his chest, and he suddenly had the urge to giggle.
Hiei sat bold upright in his tree as he heard loud maniacal laughter coming from Kurama’s room. That couldn’t be Kurama. Hiei quickly opened Kurama’s window and hopped into the Youko’s room, only to find a strange scene unfolding before him.
The entire room was filled with purple smoke, which seemed to be pouring from some strange plant on Kurama’s desk. It was difficult to see in the smoke filled room, but Hiei could also make out Kurama, rolling around on the floor and laughing insanely.
“Kurama, what are you doing?” Hiei asked calmly.
Kurama looked up quickly when he realized he was no longer alone. Then he got up suddenly and ran over to Hiei, hugging him tightly.
Hiei tensed, unsure of how to react. What exactly was going on? Kurama pulled back and stared at Hiei.
“I love you!” he said.
Hiei’s eyes widened, and he tried to step back, but Kurama jumped back first. He began to twirl around the room with his arms out, red hair whirling about his face.
“I love everyone!” he yelled.
Hiei sighed, then said, “Excuse me?”
Kurama stopped twirling and turned to stare at Hiei seriously. “I even love the squirrels,” he said.
“What squirrels?” Hiei was trying very hard to keep his temper in check.
“The little blue ones that stole my feet, silly!”
Then, as if suddenly remembering something, Kurama glanced down at his feet. “Aaaaah!” he exclaimed pointing down at where his feet were currently located, and had obviously not been carried off by blue squirrels as far as Hiei could tell.
“I forgot!” Kurama yelled, still pointing at his feet. Then he fell onto the ground, laughing hysterically. “Don’t worry, Hiei,” he said. “They promised to bring them back soon.”
Hiei was about to say something, but then he started to feel unusual himself. What the hell was in that purple smoke?
“Now remember, Kuwabara,” Yusuke said, before knocking on Kurama’s door. “If Hiei’s here, please do not provoke him. Just remember how long it took your eyebrows to grow back from the last time, okay?”
“Stupid shrimp,” Kuwabara said, but Yusuke gave him a death glare and he shut up.
They stood there for a few minutes and nobody answered, so Yusuke knocked again. Still nothing.
“I guess he’s not home,” Yusuke said. He and Kuwabara were about to leave when they heard a loud thump come from somewhere in Kurama’s house, and then someone yelled, “You dare insult the almighty Kurama’s pudding cups?!”
Yusuke raised one eyebrow and looked at Kuwabara, who looked equally stumped. Of course, that could just be his usual look, but oh well. Yusuke decided that he better go see what was going on. He pushed the door open, and he and Kuwabara cautiously ventured inside.
Once they entered the house, they were able to make out two voices coming from Kurama’s room. One was obviously Kurama’s and the other’s Hiei’s. There was a lot of screaming and thumping going on, and it was all coming from Kurama’s room. Yusuke looked at Kuwabara again, unsure of what to do. He knew what it sounded like, but he was afraid to go check.
“Um… I think I’ll just stay here and see if Kurama has anything good to eat,” Kuwabara said, then began looking through the cabinets in Kurama’s kitchen.
“Coward,” Yusuke muttered.
“You better believe it,” Kuwabara said, his voice muffled because his entire head was stuck inside a cabinet. “I don’t want to be scarred for life.”
Yusuke shook his head, then slowly made his way to Kurama’s room. The noises were getting louder with every step he took. He could make out a couple of phrases the closer he got to Kurama’s room.
“Higher, Hiei!”
“Please Kurama! PLEASE!”
“I’M GOING INTO KURAMA’S ROOM NOW!” Yusuke said, hoping that the room’s two occupants could hear him.
“I’D SURE HATE TO SEE SOMETHING THAT WOULD MENTALLY SCAR ME OR CAUSE MY EYES TO MELT FROM THEIR SOCKETS!”
He placed one hand on the doorknob. He winced as he slowly began to turn it. The door squeaked, and he pushed it open to find…
Kurama standing in the middle of the room, a crazed look on his face as he held a half filled bottle of Herbal Essence just high enough so that it was out of the leaping Hiei’s reach.
“But I want my hair to be silky smooth, too!” Hiei was yelling as he jumped again, missing the bottle by about a foot.
Yusuke sweat dropped, then yelled, “What the hell are you two doing?!”
He noticed that the entire room was enveloped in a purple smoke that seemed to be coming from a small plant sitting on Kurama’s desk.
“He won’t let me have the Herbally Essence!” Hiei yelled, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.
“Say it!” Kurama yelled, and Hiei sat on the floor, pouting.
“No!” Hiei said.
“SAY IT!” Kurama yelled again, and finally Hiei stood up.
“Kurama’s rose whip could beat the hell outta my katana!” Hiei finally yelled.
“And…?” Kurama asked.
Hiei mumbled something indecipherable, and Kurama raised one eyebrow.
“So I can hear you,” he said.
“And it’s prettier, too!” Hiei yelled.
“Good doggie,” Kurama said, then dropped the Herbal Essence bottle into Hiei’s waiting hands. Hiei laughed insanely, then opened the bottle and began squirting the shampoo into his still dry hair.
“BWA HA HA HA!” he said. “The power of cleanliness and girliness is now mine!”
At this point Yusuke was very afraid. This was almost worse than what he had been expecting. Almost.
But then he realized that it was kind of funny. Yeah. It was really funny. He started to feel lightheaded, and then he started to giggle.
Yusuke sure had been up there a long time, Kuwabara though to himself as he swallowed some of the candy he’d found stashed in one of Kurama’s cabinets. What was going on up there? Maybe he should go check.
Kuwabara hesitantly stood up, still afraid of what he would find them doing in Kurama’s room. But he had to be brave.
Kuwabara walked up to Kurama’s door and leaned closer, listening. He could still hear Kurama and Hiei, but now Yusuke’s voice had joined in the pandemonium. Not him, too! Kuwabara thought to himself.
He slowly opened the door, bracing himself for an experience that was probably going to haunt him for the rest of his days.
Kuwabara gasped at the scene before him. Yusuke was dancing on Kurama’s bed singing the Thong Song as he shook his butt rhythmically.
Kurama was running around the room, his rosewhip tied around his head like a bandana. Kuwabara wasn’t sure how Kurama kept the thorns from cutting him, but somehow he managed it. He was yelling something about the return of the blue squirrels.
And last but not least was Hiei, who was rolling around on the floor as he rubbed what looked like shampoo into his dry hair. He was singing some song that Kuwabara didn’t recognize.
“I’ve got the urge…” Hiei was singing. He also kept making various moaning noises that Kuwabara found quite disturbing.
The entire thing was making Kuwabara very upset. He wasn’t sure what to do. Absentmindedly, he took a piece of candy he’d found in Kurama’s kitchen from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.
Hiei looked up. “CANDY!!!”
Kuwabara began to back away, but he was against the now shut door. Hiei ran up to him with his superhuman speed and attacked, red eyes wide.
“Give it to me!” Hiei yelled.
“NOOOO!” Kuwabara yelled back as he struggled against the demon. Hiei began scratching him and biting him. Kuwabara fell to the ground.
“GET IT OFF OF ME!” Kuwabara yelled, thrashing on the floor and screaming like a little girl as the demon, who was about a third his size, proceeded to rip him to shreds.
“He’s rabid!!!” Kuwabara yelled.
Finally, Kuwabara pulled all of the candy out of his pockets and threw it across the room. Hiei ran after it on all fours, growling and snarling.
That was when Kuwabara noticed the strange purple smoke that hung ominously in the air of Kurama’s room.
“Hey!” he yelled. “What’s that smoke? What’ve you guys been doing in here?”
Kurama ran up to him, eyes wide. “General Ugly!” he yelled. “The squirrels are attacking! Have you decided to join the Alliance of Bamboo?”
Kuwabara stared at him, confused. Until, suddenly, his brain began to feel foggy, and Kurama’s statements began to, strangely enough, make sense.
Kuwabara whipped out his Spirit Sword, ready for action. “I’m ready when you are, Captain Pretty! Don’t shoot… uh, slash… until you see the whites of their… uh… don’t uh… LET’S KICK SOME SQUIRREL ASS!!!”
“Koenma,” Botan said to the teenage form of the ruler floating beside her. “Why are you coming? I can tell Yusuke and the others about their latest assignment perfectly fine on my own.”
“I know that,” Koenma said. “But after all the good work they’ve been doing lately, I thought I’d come with you so that I could congratulate them personally.”
Koenma looked at Botan thoughtfully. “You know, when they first started out, I wasn’t very sure of their maturity. But after all that’s happened, they’ve really proved to me that they’re really a lot more mature and trustworthy than I had first anticipated.”
And that’s when Koenma and Botan arrived outside Kurama’s window.
Botan, floating on her oar, glanced inside the open window, Koenma beside her doing the same. They gasped at what they saw.
Yusuke, jumping up and down on the bed, now in only his boxers, but thankfully, not a thong. “Thong, thong, thong, thong, THONG!” he was yelling.
Hiei was sitting in the middle of the floor, shoving fistfuls of candy in his mouth with one hand as he rubbed something in his hair with the other. “HERBALLY ESSENCE!” he screamed. “Grant me your divine power!”
Kurama and Kuwabara were running around the room like maniacs, Kuwabara with his Spirit Sword and Kurama with his Rosewhip. They were randomly destroying all of the furniture in Kurama’s room.
“The blue squirrel’s evil army must fall! The Alliance of Bamboo will prevail!” Kurama yelled, and Kuwabara just did the Xena battle cry. Which was very frightening, by the way, because it caused sudden mental images of Kuwabara in Xena’s outfit, which just caused extreme fear and more insanity.
“Must have more Herbally Essence!” Hiei yelled, then ran over to Kurama’s desk. He sniffed for a minute, then opened a cabinet. About a million bottles of Herbal Essences poured out of the cabinet, burying pour Hiei. Apparently, he had found Kurama’s stash.
After a minute, Hiei pushed his head out of the top of the pile and screamed, “Curse you, irony gods! CURSE YOU!!!”
Botan and Koenma stared at each other for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. Then, they both flew through the window and into the room, hoping to find a way to stop the insanity.
A/N: Okay, that’s the end of the first chapter. Tell me what you think! Should there even be another chapter? Cause if it sucked too bad, just tell me and I won’t bother. Okay, well please review, and bye!
A/N: Well, I liked my other stories, but they were all too serious, so I decided to try out some humor! Yay! Anyway, if this idea has been used before, please let me know. I hate to feel like I’m copying. Also, I’d like to ask one thing. I haven’t seen many episodes of Yu-Yu Hakusho, but in a lot of the fics I’ve read, they sometimes mention a tournament during which you first see Kurama’s Youko form. Does this take place in the movie, or is it in the series? If it is in the series, around which episodes does the tournament take place? Thanks, and if someone could please answer that for me, it would be very helpful. Anyway, I’ve talked long enough. On with the story.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu Yu Hakusho. I don’t own Herbal Essence, the Thong Song, or Xena. Don’t worry, it’ll all make sense later.
Kurama sat at his desk, a large book opened in front of him, labeled “The Growth and Maintenance of Rare Makai Plants”. He had spent the past few weeks trying to find some plants that he could use to make a hybrid that would be efficient at healing. More precisely, at healing burn wounds, due to a certain short pyromaniac of a demon that he like to call Hiei.
Kurama was pretty sure he’d finally found what he wanted, and he set to work. It wasn’t long before he’d grown a very odd looking plant. He had it in a small pot sitting on his desk. The plant had a long, thin stem that extended up about a foot. At the end of the stem was what looked sort of like a Venus Fly Trap, only it was bright purple.
Kurama sat back in his chair, admiring his handy work. Now all he had to do was test it, and with Hiei around, he was sure he wouldn’t have to wait long. Where was the little demon, anyway?
Kurama was about to get up and look out his window when something strange happened. As he watched, the sort of mouth of the plant opened with a hiss. Kurama leaned forward to get a better look, and suddenly a stream of purple smoke began to pour from the plant.
Kurama was so surprised, he actually fell backwards, out of his chair. He landed on his butt on the floor. He stood up slowly, then stared at the plant in confusion. It was still spurting that purple smoke, and the stuff smelled foul. Kurama wrinkled his nose. The stuff was filling his entire room.
He was about to go open a window when he began to feel strange. He had this strange sickeningly happy feeling bubbling up in his chest, and he suddenly had the urge to giggle.
Hiei sat bold upright in his tree as he heard loud maniacal laughter coming from Kurama’s room. That couldn’t be Kurama. Hiei quickly opened Kurama’s window and hopped into the Youko’s room, only to find a strange scene unfolding before him.
The entire room was filled with purple smoke, which seemed to be pouring from some strange plant on Kurama’s desk. It was difficult to see in the smoke filled room, but Hiei could also make out Kurama, rolling around on the floor and laughing insanely.
“Kurama, what are you doing?” Hiei asked calmly.
Kurama looked up quickly when he realized he was no longer alone. Then he got up suddenly and ran over to Hiei, hugging him tightly.
Hiei tensed, unsure of how to react. What exactly was going on? Kurama pulled back and stared at Hiei.
“I love you!” he said.
Hiei’s eyes widened, and he tried to step back, but Kurama jumped back first. He began to twirl around the room with his arms out, red hair whirling about his face.
“I love everyone!” he yelled.
Hiei sighed, then said, “Excuse me?”
Kurama stopped twirling and turned to stare at Hiei seriously. “I even love the squirrels,” he said.
“What squirrels?” Hiei was trying very hard to keep his temper in check.
“The little blue ones that stole my feet, silly!”
Then, as if suddenly remembering something, Kurama glanced down at his feet. “Aaaaah!” he exclaimed pointing down at where his feet were currently located, and had obviously not been carried off by blue squirrels as far as Hiei could tell.
“I forgot!” Kurama yelled, still pointing at his feet. Then he fell onto the ground, laughing hysterically. “Don’t worry, Hiei,” he said. “They promised to bring them back soon.”
Hiei was about to say something, but then he started to feel unusual himself. What the hell was in that purple smoke?
“Now remember, Kuwabara,” Yusuke said, before knocking on Kurama’s door. “If Hiei’s here, please do not provoke him. Just remember how long it took your eyebrows to grow back from the last time, okay?”
“Stupid shrimp,” Kuwabara said, but Yusuke gave him a death glare and he shut up.
They stood there for a few minutes and nobody answered, so Yusuke knocked again. Still nothing.
“I guess he’s not home,” Yusuke said. He and Kuwabara were about to leave when they heard a loud thump come from somewhere in Kurama’s house, and then someone yelled, “You dare insult the almighty Kurama’s pudding cups?!”
Yusuke raised one eyebrow and looked at Kuwabara, who looked equally stumped. Of course, that could just be his usual look, but oh well. Yusuke decided that he better go see what was going on. He pushed the door open, and he and Kuwabara cautiously ventured inside.
Once they entered the house, they were able to make out two voices coming from Kurama’s room. One was obviously Kurama’s and the other’s Hiei’s. There was a lot of screaming and thumping going on, and it was all coming from Kurama’s room. Yusuke looked at Kuwabara again, unsure of what to do. He knew what it sounded like, but he was afraid to go check.
“Um… I think I’ll just stay here and see if Kurama has anything good to eat,” Kuwabara said, then began looking through the cabinets in Kurama’s kitchen.
“Coward,” Yusuke muttered.
“You better believe it,” Kuwabara said, his voice muffled because his entire head was stuck inside a cabinet. “I don’t want to be scarred for life.”
Yusuke shook his head, then slowly made his way to Kurama’s room. The noises were getting louder with every step he took. He could make out a couple of phrases the closer he got to Kurama’s room.
“Higher, Hiei!”
“Please Kurama! PLEASE!”
“I’M GOING INTO KURAMA’S ROOM NOW!” Yusuke said, hoping that the room’s two occupants could hear him.
“I’D SURE HATE TO SEE SOMETHING THAT WOULD MENTALLY SCAR ME OR CAUSE MY EYES TO MELT FROM THEIR SOCKETS!”
He placed one hand on the doorknob. He winced as he slowly began to turn it. The door squeaked, and he pushed it open to find…
Kurama standing in the middle of the room, a crazed look on his face as he held a half filled bottle of Herbal Essence just high enough so that it was out of the leaping Hiei’s reach.
“But I want my hair to be silky smooth, too!” Hiei was yelling as he jumped again, missing the bottle by about a foot.
Yusuke sweat dropped, then yelled, “What the hell are you two doing?!”
He noticed that the entire room was enveloped in a purple smoke that seemed to be coming from a small plant sitting on Kurama’s desk.
“He won’t let me have the Herbally Essence!” Hiei yelled, sounding like he was on the verge of tears.
“Say it!” Kurama yelled, and Hiei sat on the floor, pouting.
“No!” Hiei said.
“SAY IT!” Kurama yelled again, and finally Hiei stood up.
“Kurama’s rose whip could beat the hell outta my katana!” Hiei finally yelled.
“And…?” Kurama asked.
Hiei mumbled something indecipherable, and Kurama raised one eyebrow.
“So I can hear you,” he said.
“And it’s prettier, too!” Hiei yelled.
“Good doggie,” Kurama said, then dropped the Herbal Essence bottle into Hiei’s waiting hands. Hiei laughed insanely, then opened the bottle and began squirting the shampoo into his still dry hair.
“BWA HA HA HA!” he said. “The power of cleanliness and girliness is now mine!”
At this point Yusuke was very afraid. This was almost worse than what he had been expecting. Almost.
But then he realized that it was kind of funny. Yeah. It was really funny. He started to feel lightheaded, and then he started to giggle.
Yusuke sure had been up there a long time, Kuwabara though to himself as he swallowed some of the candy he’d found stashed in one of Kurama’s cabinets. What was going on up there? Maybe he should go check.
Kuwabara hesitantly stood up, still afraid of what he would find them doing in Kurama’s room. But he had to be brave.
Kuwabara walked up to Kurama’s door and leaned closer, listening. He could still hear Kurama and Hiei, but now Yusuke’s voice had joined in the pandemonium. Not him, too! Kuwabara thought to himself.
He slowly opened the door, bracing himself for an experience that was probably going to haunt him for the rest of his days.
Kuwabara gasped at the scene before him. Yusuke was dancing on Kurama’s bed singing the Thong Song as he shook his butt rhythmically.
Kurama was running around the room, his rosewhip tied around his head like a bandana. Kuwabara wasn’t sure how Kurama kept the thorns from cutting him, but somehow he managed it. He was yelling something about the return of the blue squirrels.
And last but not least was Hiei, who was rolling around on the floor as he rubbed what looked like shampoo into his dry hair. He was singing some song that Kuwabara didn’t recognize.
“I’ve got the urge…” Hiei was singing. He also kept making various moaning noises that Kuwabara found quite disturbing.
The entire thing was making Kuwabara very upset. He wasn’t sure what to do. Absentmindedly, he took a piece of candy he’d found in Kurama’s kitchen from his pocket and stuck it in his mouth.
Hiei looked up. “CANDY!!!”
Kuwabara began to back away, but he was against the now shut door. Hiei ran up to him with his superhuman speed and attacked, red eyes wide.
“Give it to me!” Hiei yelled.
“NOOOO!” Kuwabara yelled back as he struggled against the demon. Hiei began scratching him and biting him. Kuwabara fell to the ground.
“GET IT OFF OF ME!” Kuwabara yelled, thrashing on the floor and screaming like a little girl as the demon, who was about a third his size, proceeded to rip him to shreds.
“He’s rabid!!!” Kuwabara yelled.
Finally, Kuwabara pulled all of the candy out of his pockets and threw it across the room. Hiei ran after it on all fours, growling and snarling.
That was when Kuwabara noticed the strange purple smoke that hung ominously in the air of Kurama’s room.
“Hey!” he yelled. “What’s that smoke? What’ve you guys been doing in here?”
Kurama ran up to him, eyes wide. “General Ugly!” he yelled. “The squirrels are attacking! Have you decided to join the Alliance of Bamboo?”
Kuwabara stared at him, confused. Until, suddenly, his brain began to feel foggy, and Kurama’s statements began to, strangely enough, make sense.
Kuwabara whipped out his Spirit Sword, ready for action. “I’m ready when you are, Captain Pretty! Don’t shoot… uh, slash… until you see the whites of their… uh… don’t uh… LET’S KICK SOME SQUIRREL ASS!!!”
“Koenma,” Botan said to the teenage form of the ruler floating beside her. “Why are you coming? I can tell Yusuke and the others about their latest assignment perfectly fine on my own.”
“I know that,” Koenma said. “But after all the good work they’ve been doing lately, I thought I’d come with you so that I could congratulate them personally.”
Koenma looked at Botan thoughtfully. “You know, when they first started out, I wasn’t very sure of their maturity. But after all that’s happened, they’ve really proved to me that they’re really a lot more mature and trustworthy than I had first anticipated.”
And that’s when Koenma and Botan arrived outside Kurama’s window.
Botan, floating on her oar, glanced inside the open window, Koenma beside her doing the same. They gasped at what they saw.
Yusuke, jumping up and down on the bed, now in only his boxers, but thankfully, not a thong. “Thong, thong, thong, thong, THONG!” he was yelling.
Hiei was sitting in the middle of the floor, shoving fistfuls of candy in his mouth with one hand as he rubbed something in his hair with the other. “HERBALLY ESSENCE!” he screamed. “Grant me your divine power!”
Kurama and Kuwabara were running around the room like maniacs, Kuwabara with his Spirit Sword and Kurama with his Rosewhip. They were randomly destroying all of the furniture in Kurama’s room.
“The blue squirrel’s evil army must fall! The Alliance of Bamboo will prevail!” Kurama yelled, and Kuwabara just did the Xena battle cry. Which was very frightening, by the way, because it caused sudden mental images of Kuwabara in Xena’s outfit, which just caused extreme fear and more insanity.
“Must have more Herbally Essence!” Hiei yelled, then ran over to Kurama’s desk. He sniffed for a minute, then opened a cabinet. About a million bottles of Herbal Essences poured out of the cabinet, burying pour Hiei. Apparently, he had found Kurama’s stash.
After a minute, Hiei pushed his head out of the top of the pile and screamed, “Curse you, irony gods! CURSE YOU!!!”
Botan and Koenma stared at each other for a few minutes, unsure of what to do. Then, they both flew through the window and into the room, hoping to find a way to stop the insanity.
A/N: Okay, that’s the end of the first chapter. Tell me what you think! Should there even be another chapter? Cause if it sucked too bad, just tell me and I won’t bother. Okay, well please review, and bye!
I can't believe you'd stoop so low