Poetry

The Imfamous AKA
Burn the Witch!

She turned me into a newt!

I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold.

Posts: 12,527

Poetry May 6, 2008 23:22:07 GMT -5

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Post by The Imfamous AKA on May 6, 2008 23:22:07 GMT -5

Wow. It's spectacular, Asila. I love how you offset the first few stanzas by the last one before the couplet, comparing the pros and cons of what the snow seems to represents. And the last couplet is so eloquent.

This one is what my friend Rene said signalled my move from 'Angsty' poetry to 'Angry'. I promptly went back.

Cliché

I’m sick of these clichés,
I just don’t want to play.
But there’s punishment for each good deed,
And a moral in every book I read.
My heart and mind, they pay,
Sucked dry and dead and gray.
I’m much too weak to win this game,
But I keep playing, all the same.
So why do I always stay?
Why don’t I leave, if I may?
I’ll never see the fireworks,
‘Cause my world is full of stupid jerks,
But why that is, I couldn’t say.
Maybe I’ll find out someday.
They tell me not to take the heat,
But their words come on as bittersweet.
I can’t keep these thoughts at bay.
I’m so damn sick of these clichés!

I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light.

A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright.

That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save."

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Asila
Heroine of FoxFlame

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Posts: 1,239

Poetry May 6, 2008 23:42:27 GMT -5

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Post by Asila on May 6, 2008 23:42:27 GMT -5

*grins* Me and my short poems. I blame a short attention span. And the fact that sometimes I try way too hard to match rhythm in such a way that every line has a similar amount of syllables. I drive myself crazy with frustration!

Oh, and I like this one as well! Especially the lines "I’m much too weak to win this game, /But I keep playing, all the same." *sighs, placing a hand over heart* I know that feeling so well. It is at times like those that obstinance and pride prove your greatest virtues. Which is ironic, since most people view those traits as flaws. *shrugs* Meh, what do they know? *grins*

I have a poem born of sarcasm to follow yours. I'd received a few comments regarding my poetry just before I wrote it, and let's just say they inspired me. I had much more fun writing this one, because I worried less about rhyme and structure. I was too irked to care. Then again, the title almost explains it all.

Back Off

There are those who expect poetry
to reflect on joyful things.
Rays of sunshine, white flowers,
Silver doves, wedding rings,
But I do not feel this way.
If asked to pick an object that describes me
I will choose fire or chains,
Thorns or blood rain,
Raven feathers, demon eyes,
Manacles, resounding whys.
To write anything else is to lie.
To lie would be to insult art.
Isn't art about expression of self?
Or is is about rainbows and happy little elves?
If it is the latter, I must apologize for morbid tastes.
But I won't stop writing, or painting.
I won't drop out of the race.
If you would rather read about what glows and shines
Pick another poem. It's your problem, not mine.

“For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth; to know the worst and provide for it.” ~P Henry
"Don't just have an opinion. Know why you have that opinion in the first place." ~My Opinion

The Imfamous AKA
Burn the Witch!

She turned me into a newt!

I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold.

Posts: 12,527

Poetry Nov 4, 2008 15:38:25 GMT -5

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Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 15:38:25 GMT -5

I've decided I have to revive this thread... Mostly becuase I've started writing poetry again...

Asila, wow... I hadn't read that one till now, but... wow... The shifting of the rhyme scheme is something I've never been able to do well, and you nailed the idea right on the head. Plus, I like telling people off in my poetry too, so it's tons of fun to read someone else doing it.

Brand new not-so-funness. I'm not sure if I like it yet...

White Noise/Black Blood

It all falls around me
Passing through my life with ease.
Blurs far too fast for me to see,
But they’re blocking in my screams.
A swirling storm that I can’t flee,
So I stay with my imagined toys.
I just sit here and pretend to be,
Left in excruciating white noise.

I plot against my wardens too,
So silently I still ruminate.
When I finally decide what to do,
My senses again they captivate.
I shake them off and punch right through,
Inciting quite the hectic flood.
Drip, drip, drip; away they flew.
They seem afraid of my black blood.

I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light.

A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright.

That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save."

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Seven
Ring Leader

Not all who wander are lost.

Posts: 37,424

Poetry Nov 4, 2008 15:50:05 GMT -5

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Post by Seven on Nov 4, 2008 15:50:05 GMT -5

It's really interesting Aka, and I like the pattern ad schemes and rhymes in this, but...

Myabe I'm just not poetry-savvy enough, but I'm not quite sure what your poem is about. To me, it seems to talk about anxiety, but I'm not sure this is the interpretation you're going for. And black blood just reminds me of vampires for some odd reason.

"71,580 words. 9 days. 1 all-nighter. I need a freaking life." ~Imfamous AKA

"But I did figure out a formula, in math format, for Somriad. Sadistic incubus + Silent Hill imagery + psychological warfare = Somriad in all his dark glory." ~Asila

"Man, what I can say to get a quote onto you profile, Seven?" ~Pan

The Imfamous AKA
Burn the Witch!

She turned me into a newt!

I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold.

Posts: 12,527

Poetry Nov 4, 2008 15:56:17 GMT -5

Quote

Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 15:56:17 GMT -5

Actually... *Looks sheepish* It's about 3 things... One is anxiety and captivity, of course... The second is about using people's fear of pain and loss, specifically blood, against them for your own gains.... And three... well, you'll know soon enough... *Evil grin*

I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light.

A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright.

That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save."

He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Seven Ring Leader Not all who wander are lost. Posts: 37,424	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:03:40 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seven on Nov 4, 2008 16:03:40 GMT -5 The third I'll know soon enough? What do you mean? In rp? Or in real life?
	"71,580 words. 9 days. 1 all-nighter. I need a freaking life." ~Imfamous AKA "But I did figure out a formula, in math format, for Somriad. Sadistic incubus + Silent Hill imagery + psychological warfare = Somriad in all his dark glory." ~Asila "Man, what I can say to get a quote onto you profile, Seven?" ~Pan

The Imfamous AKA Burn the Witch! She turned me into a newt! I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold. Posts: 12,527	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:04:50 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 16:04:50 GMT -5 Shifty eyes rp...
	I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light. A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright. That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save." He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Seven Ring Leader Not all who wander are lost. Posts: 37,424	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:05:24 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seven on Nov 4, 2008 16:05:24 GMT -5 So it has to do with Aka-Tall?
	"71,580 words. 9 days. 1 all-nighter. I need a freaking life." ~Imfamous AKA "But I did figure out a formula, in math format, for Somriad. Sadistic incubus + Silent Hill imagery + psychological warfare = Somriad in all his dark glory." ~Asila "Man, what I can say to get a quote onto you profile, Seven?" ~Pan

The Imfamous AKA Burn the Witch! She turned me into a newt! I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold. Posts: 12,527	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:06:44 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 16:06:44 GMT -5 Shifty eyes* Maybe....
	I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light. A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright. That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save." He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Seven Ring Leader Not all who wander are lost. Posts: 37,424	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:16:14 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seven on Nov 4, 2008 16:16:14 GMT -5 IT'S AKA-KELLEN, ISN'T IT!! cries My poor broken hearted Tall!
	"71,580 words. 9 days. 1 all-nighter. I need a freaking life." ~Imfamous AKA "But I did figure out a formula, in math format, for Somriad. Sadistic incubus + Silent Hill imagery + psychological warfare = Somriad in all his dark glory." ~Asila "Man, what I can say to get a quote onto you profile, Seven?" ~Pan

The Imfamous AKA Burn the Witch! She turned me into a newt! I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold. Posts: 12,527	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:17:05 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 16:17:05 GMT -5 Nuh-uh! Tis Shifty eyes Kellen-Rhinoa!
	I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light. A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright. That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save." He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Seven Ring Leader Not all who wander are lost. Posts: 37,424	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:19:28 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seven on Nov 4, 2008 16:19:28 GMT -5 gasps I KNEW IT!!!1 So THATS where Kellen's been sneaking off to!
	"71,580 words. 9 days. 1 all-nighter. I need a freaking life." ~Imfamous AKA "But I did figure out a formula, in math format, for Somriad. Sadistic incubus + Silent Hill imagery + psychological warfare = Somriad in all his dark glory." ~Asila "Man, what I can say to get a quote onto you profile, Seven?" ~Pan

The Imfamous AKA Burn the Witch! She turned me into a newt! I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold. Posts: 12,527	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:19:57 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 16:19:57 GMT -5 No dah!
	I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light. A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright. That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save." He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

Seven Ring Leader Not all who wander are lost. Posts: 37,424	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:21:20 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by Seven on Nov 4, 2008 16:21:20 GMT -5 And that's why Rhinoa has been less PMS-y lately! No wonder she hasn't attacked, she doesn't have the time!
	"71,580 words. 9 days. 1 all-nighter. I need a freaking life." ~Imfamous AKA "But I did figure out a formula, in math format, for Somriad. Sadistic incubus + Silent Hill imagery + psychological warfare = Somriad in all his dark glory." ~Asila "Man, what I can say to get a quote onto you profile, Seven?" ~Pan

The Imfamous AKA Burn the Witch! She turned me into a newt! I am exhumed just a little less human and a lot more bitter and cold. Posts: 12,527	Poetry Nov 4, 2008 16:22:26 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by The Imfamous AKA on Nov 4, 2008 16:22:26 GMT -5 You musst admit, kellen is pretty good at distracting people...
	I've heard that evil comes disguised like a city of angels. I'm walking towards the light. A killer falling from the light, I miss my family, I'll never be alright. That's when she said "I don't hate you, boy. I just want to save you while there's still something left to save." He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.