CW Rant

[Asila]

Forgive me, but this has been driving me crazy for the past few days (ever since I pulled out these old CW assignments) and I thought I would blow off some steam. In fact, this dredged up issue of mine was the reason that I abandoned Darkest Hour, originally and for the past few days. It's a trivial thing, but apparently crippling, so I thought I would acknowledge it.

I took a creative writing class during my senior year in high school. Unfortunately, I do believe that I found the experience to be just as discouraging as it was helpful. My teacher loved me, but my classmates were endlessly confused by the stuff I tended to write. I think I love to be mysterious and like to leave things to the imagination...something that most people lack.

Between the stars is the piece of writing that is connected to this rant. The assignment had been to write a short story that was no longer than two hundred and fifty words. This is what I came up with. It wasn't very well received by most of my classmates, but I'll type what was said after I paste it. I'm sure I've left you in suspense for long enough.

****

“Damn!” I swore, kicking at the bloodied blade that lay at my feet. Why hadn’t I seen this coming? I should have been able to stop Shade and his thugs, if only I had seen the signs. I approached the small body that lay only a few paces ahead of me. I gasped when I recognized the little boy, whose only crime was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It has been said that murder is the work of cowards. The death of this boy gave testimony to that saying. He had been slaughtered because Shade and the human monsters he surrounded himself with feared the consequences of their actions, because they couldn’t live up to the crimes they’d committed.

“Shade, you jerk!” I raged at the cold sky above me. How could I have allowed this to happen? I asked myself for what had to be the millionth time in thirty seconds. I should have turned the gang in myself, I thought. But I hadn’t, because I had thought they were my friends. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

I turned from the body and stalked off toward the police department, stiff with rage. Shade himself stopped me. Disentangling himself from the shadows that were his namesake, he drifted to a halt in front of me. “You have to understand,” He begged of me. “It was either him or me.” He repeated the words as if he were trying to convince himself of their worth. “It was either him or me.”

****

So that was my story. Here is what some of the readers told me.

Most thought that it was very confusing. (Come on, people, think! I shouldn't have to coach you through your own thought processes!*seethes*) And another actually told me that it had too much detail for a short story. Give me a break! That phrase should never be used to criticize a written work! It's practically blasphemous!!!

*suddenly calms, reading back through the comments* Well, I'm focusing once again on the bad. One person, while only awarding me three of five stars, said that it was confusing but also said it had nice detail, underlining this last to counter-act the first comment. Better yet, one classmate gave me four and a half stars and told me that it was very good, suspenseful and intrigueing. And, perhaps most interesting of all, was the individual who commented 'this is my life'. *ponders this* Hmm...

I guess the whole thing stressed me out because I realized that my style of writing is difficult to understand and I find myself just wanting to give up again. After all, most people just lack either the mental capacity or the desire to try and interpret the enigmatic things I tend to write. But others...others seem fascinated, and I guess that the big question is "Is that enough?"

I think I can answer yes to that, which means that this rant of mine has helped me sort through my misgivings after all. That's good. We have improvement!

[Seven]

You know, I don't know if it's just me, or if everyone in your class was an idiot because I had no problem following the story. In fact, I found it very easy to follow. Are you sure these people can read?

But apart from that, the story was very good, even in just the few lines you could get a clear grasp of the situation and the gang characters. (I loved the metaphors you used, the whole, 'human monsters' and the 'Disentangling himself from the shadows' parts were my favorites.) The only character that is a little vague is the narrator, since you aren't quite sure how they fit into this mess. But even that feels good since it creates mystery and things for the reader to think over. As if trying to figure out who the main character is, is actually the point. I tended to think that it must have been a girl, probably someone who was romantically involved with Shade, since when it was going to the police station, Shade seemed to be trying to win him/her over rather than just killing them for wanting to turn him in. After all, Shade killed the boy since it was "Him or me," yet he doesn't say anything about the situation of the "narrator or me."

Anyways, if that's what your classmates thought, what did your teacher think?

[Rojo]

How old were you when you wrote this? More specifically your classmates. I got this. I'm Effing Twelve! I thought it was really good. All of it materiled in my head. Especially the strange figure, Shade, coming from the shadows. I really thought this was cool and something different. Too much detail is a very stupid thing to say. THERE IS NEVER EGNOUGH DETAIL! Anyways, I really liked it. I think it is good how it leaves a lot to the imagination. I really found myself making backstories for the characters, even thinking up cohorts for the previously mentioned strange figure.

Nice work.

[Seven]

I know....
It sort of makes me want to read what the REST of your classmates wrote if they thought this was confusing.....

Were they something like, "Mr. Fluffy Bunny goes to the Park and makes a Friend?"
hahah!

[Rojo]

I did something like this once, and practically everyone said
"WTF IS A DARK ELF?"
THe people in my class are such ingrates...can't pronounce flippin' "Fortune" without help...NONE of them read as much as me and my friend William do. He's a sort of island among a lake of idiocy, yet sometimes he can prove an ass...

((Woot for Shakespeare quotes))

[Asila]

Whoa, look at all the comments! *grins* I feel special. All right, let's see if I can answer all the posts without rambling too badly.

Seven...you actually thought that this was easy to follow? Both of you did? That's really interesting to me, because even my writing teacher wasn't all that fond of this short story. He loved some of my other assignments, but this one...well, he seemed puzzled as well. *shakes head sadly* I don't think that all of them are idiotic, but I do think that they all have their minds so grounded in their simple, unextraordinary realities that comprending something like this is really difficult for them. They don't imagine, and so they can't relate. And I guess that fate seems more sad to me than their failure to imagine something more, something beyond what has been written.

Which I suppose was the point of my story. I was trying to hint at far more than I had written. I was lamenting the innocents that sometimes get caught in the crossfire. All of them, not just the casualties that are a result of gang violence. I was also trying to make the readers imagine what had happened. What had brought the narrator (who is indeed a girl) to this scene, and why had the boy had to die in the first place? What could he have witnessed that would have led the gang to kill him? Or even, what could he have said that would have made them feel so threatened? This story was meant to expand in both directions beyond those 250 words. The reader was supposed to imagine a beginning and maybe even an end. I was trying to imply far more than I wrote because, to be honest, I didn't see any other way to write an effective short story in so few words.

As for the girl being romantically involved with Shade, she was very fond of him and vice versa. But there is much more to this story than I could even hint at in so few words. In fact, this story has evolved well beyond this piece of writing which inspired it. It's one of the cumulative three that I have begun in the past three years.

I was seventeen when I wrote this, and nearly everyone else in that class was about that age as well. But, of course, age is relative. Some people are just more perceptive than others and time seldom changes that. The two of you are far more clever than these individuals were! As for detail, I still can't beleive that comment. I almost wish that this person could see some of the stuff I've written since then. Some of my posts are far more detailed than that little clip had been! In fact, I don't think my short story was very detailed at all. It was descriptive enough to assign atmosphere and depth to my story, but it could hardly match a paragraph written by Anne Rice. Any way, I'm glad you had fun with it, Rojo! That had been my intention. I'm glad that at least the two of you understood where I was heading with this!

As for what my classmates wrote...have you ever read an untalented teenagers attempt at a poem that has been centered on how they felt now that their significant other has broken up with them? Because that is exactly what these people liked. I remember because one of the other talented girls in my class was talking with me about how shallow, pitiful, and irritating these things are and the other individuals in the class got pretty annoyed with us. Oops. Well, let me say that you can take a crappy break-up poem and make it something good. It's just that there has to be more to the message than 'poor me, I have been broken.' A talented writer would turn it into something meaningful, spirited, inspiring, or profound.

Sorry, I do love to rant. Back on topic. Don't you hate when people can't see beyond a single word? It's idiotic. I mean, at twelve I had no idea what a dark elf was, but I would imagine it. I wouldn't ask questions, I would just absorb what was written and enjoy the story that was told. In the end, the exact definition of 'dark elf' is trivial to the story itself. Honestly, I was ditzy at that age and I still understood that much! Well, less ditzy, more withdrawn and lost within my own mind half the time, but you get the idea. Also, I can't beleive you can quote Shakespeare! I couldn't do that until I reached high school!!! You are a genius. ;D Where did you pick that up?

[Rojo]

Yes, it sometimes frightens me how lunkheaded people can be...and I picked up some Shakespeare from English. EVERYBODY knows Shakespeare!
With the help of a surgeon, he may survive, and yet prove an ass...
(Midsummer's Night's Dream)

[Asila]

*grins* Now that's one Shakespeare play that I know. My favorite quote from this one is...

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.

I love Puck! Really, though, I'm beginning to think that American grade schools suck because I didn't read a Shakespearian play until I reached either eighth or ninth grade. Which is just as well, I suppose, since I lacked the attention span needed to follow them at that time. Poetry in any form used to throw me for a loop because you have to pay close attention to every line or else you'll miss something, and unfortunately my mind does so love to wander off when it shouldn't. I don't think I'm ever entirely in this world.

[Seven]

Oh you too? Puck is one of my all time favorites! I personally liked him better in his original story though, "The Mad and Merry Jests of Robin Goodfellow." Since it seems we're quoting Shakespeare...

"Up and down, up and down. I will lead them up and down. I am fear'd in field and town; Goblin lead them up and down."

Aka, Pan, Hope, and I got to go to on a field trip together in 8th grade. Can you guess what we did? Yup, we went to the Shakespeare Theater in Chicago, and we watched a Midsummer's Night Dream, which is my favorite of Shakespearian plays. And yes Asila, everyone knows that American schools suck as compared to European ones. A shame Aka is banned from her computer--she's has the complete works of Shakespeare, and loves reading it over and over and over.....

Let's just say in every class I've had with her, the teacher's yelled at her for bringing books to class to read and ignoring the discussion, ahahha!

As for the Dark Elf, I doubt I would have known what it was at 12. I think I only found out at around 14, 15 -ish. I mean, you hear about elves a lot, but Dark Elves are pretty much only in D&D type scenarios. So I might have been that one loser who asked what it was.

But then again, I was pretty innocent in a very dark way growing up. I didn't know what a Goth was until middle school; I only found out when the jerk sitting next to me asked if I was one. In which I just tilted my head with confusion and asked very sweetly, "What's a Goth?" I guess I was only thinking of gothic architecture.....

[Asila]

Puck is just lovable, though I haven't read the original story that he was in. I am ashamed to say that I haven't read very many of Shakespeare's plays at all. *sheepish grin* But like I said, his stuff used to hurt my brain. I was surprised to find recently that I can now read them with no problem. I wonder what's changed, since my focus problems are still prevalent. Hmm, I really don't know.

I don't think I'd ever seen a goth until I moved and found myself in a larger school. And I've never really met anyone who was emo...well, my sister did date one such guy, but he didn't really fit any of the stereotypes. Though he did listen to the music and wear the clothes. *shrugs* We didn't get along that well. He tended to be kind of sexist, and I tend to turn into a hard-core feminist when faced with these people, so...well, you can imagine. Grr, if you had seen the things he had talked my sister into wearing you'd know why I was tempted to maul him. Of course she wasn't really any better for caving, but what kind of over-protective older sister would I be if I acknowledged that?

My grandma on my mom's side thinks that gothic people worship the devil. I keep trying to talk her out of this, but old people can be so set in their ways. She also thinks that dragons are Satan...I'm surprised she loves me as much as she does. Though she does admit to worrying for my eternal soul. I don't know what to make of her. She's so sweet, but whenever she makes these claims I just find myself shaking my head in disbelief.

[Seven]

Puck actualy wasn't a character Shakespeare invented. In fact, I forget the real inventor, but I believe he was about 130 years before Shakespeare. The sort of 'old school literature' of THEIR day, you know? Of course, by now we've forgotten about that, letting Shakespeare take the credit for such a fun character. I think he actually made an accident, as Robin was his real name, and Puck was another, unimportant side character in the end of on of Robin's adventures. He seemd to take Robin and nickname Puck for some unusual reason, though occasionally they make mention to his real name in Midsummer's Night Dream.

The original story (or rather, set of poems) is really fun to read, I'd recommend it. Though I have to admit, they leave you feeling a little empty towards the end, like there somehow should be more. Or rather, reading about his adventures is fun, but it seems incomplete, and some lack emotional depth....
You'll just have to read them for yourself though--maybe argue with me or something. ;D

As for goth people....well....I don't personally like or dislike them. I'm apathetic towards all subcultures--I usually evaluate them one person at a time. Except for emos. They're my exception. I just don't like them.

[Asila]

Oops, I feel stupid. The revelation doesn't really surprise me, though. Shakespeare kind of stole most of his ideas from other people, didn't he? He was just great at rewriting them. Oh well, I can't know everything...even though I would really like to. ;D

I'm kind of edgy around goths, though. I just haven't met one that I've really liked. A lot of them are really broody, and I know I have my moments but I seldom mention something negative in real life without laughing over it, or turning it into a joke. And a lot of them are into the drug scene, which is just irritating to me. I don't like stoners at all. Social drinkers, fine, smokers...I can tolerate that but anything else...not so much.

Why don't you like emos, though? Like I said, I don't know much about them. They can't all be depressed cutters...can they?

[Seven]

I'd personally like to rewrite the mad and merry jests of robin goodfellow into a full length novel. I'm afraid the poems, as nice as they were, are rather short. But yes, Puck was a stolen character.

Hmm...well Demetri is sort of border-line goth, and he's alright, right? I don't like social drinkers--my sister is one of them. There is no such thing as social drinking in my mind, not after seeing how she gets. Smoking, I can't tolerate either, so you can imagine how the rest must be for me...

As for emos, they're all stupid

[Asila]

If you write about Robin Goodfellow's adventures, I want to read about them! Speaking of you and what you write, aren't you ever going to post your story? You said you had one...

Demetri's awesome. Except that he's been gone for a month and I've pretty much given up on his site. Which is sad, because it had so much potential...

As for drinking, I think that drunks are amusing but I've never been around someone who made a less than cheerful drunk. Well, I was around one that got depressed, but he was interesting to talk to regardless...However, if my sister was one of them I bet that I would also get annoyed. It would drive me crazy to watch her make a fool of herself...or to watch her behave in a permiscous fashion. And smoke makes me feel ill, but as long as I can get fresh air I can tolerate it.

And your emo comment is very vague! Honestly, how am I supposed to learn anything? I want to know why you don't like them! I'm curious!

[Seven]

*blinks* I said I had a story? Oh! I said I wanted to write a story--or rather, a comic. But I need a tablet for that first. I do want to be an author as well, but I don't have any real stories in progress right now. Too much stuff.

Demetri is cool, but I agree. He works too much on making the site look pretty, but fails to actually post on it regularly. And since Aka's mind only lets her work on rp at a time, she doesn't want to continue our willow/elena one.

Drinking...well...no one in my family takes to drunkness well. I don't like seeing people drunk. I don't find them funny really. Maybe it's just my experiences though. I do enjoy rping funny drunk people though...;D

...shifty eyes* emos are stupid.